Question: What makes autistic kids inattentive/restless/hyperactive? Are they experiencing physical discomfort or sensory discomfort or something else?
Navi A: What is inattentive? If they’re staring off into space they might be thinking about something. I’m often thinking about the physics of things or trying to understand an interaction I had earlier in the day or maybe I remembered something from a book and am thinking about that. If they’re not paying attention in a lesson maybe they already understood and moved past the level that’s been explained and it’s just boring to repeat. I’ve often done this in school/college etc. Restless I have no idea at all. Who decides the difference between hyperactive and regular active? Kids get excited right? Would you rather have one sit like an adult all day? All of these are problems of perception of the one naming them as such. If a kid wants to tap their fingers or move their legs why does it matter that much? This helps some ND kids pay attention but it would be called inattentive. I do not trust educators in general to even judge if I’m paying attention. I’ll never be looking at you, I’ll be listening instead. I’ve had to actually say this to one of my tutors, assume I’m paying attention. If someone actually managed to get me to look them in the eyes for real then I can’t hear what they’re saying. Eye contact is so deeply intimate I can only do it with my wife for any kind of length NTs expect. If I can hug and caress someone lovingly and kiss their cheek I have enough intimacy to do eye contact. Forcing it is as bad as forcing that kind of intimacy with a stranger.
Sweta Sukhani: We feel deeply express differently and maybe instead of putting the child into conventional buckets, we could try and understand how they are in that moment. When an NT child cries, we don’t try to bucketise it but we ask them coz it’s a different thing every time. Just removing some social rules that have no impact on anyone else, could reduce a lot of discomfort for the child and there is no loss to anyone. If i am looking at you, it’s uncomfortable as my mind has started deciphering your expression and lost focus on what i was saying!
Aalap Deboor: These issues are also systemic. I find the system is designed to bore you into submission. If you’re given the leeway to think too much and freely, you might disrupt status quo and that’s a threat. Anything different/new is first a threat, then an innovation. Kids sometimes come up with the simplest, most efficient ways to do things, so the system probably goes let’s nip this in the bud.
Preeti Dixit: I think for me it has a lot to do with sensory issues and cognitive overload. These were the two things which made it difficult for me to focus in school and I would find myself drifting off or zoning out. After a point the teacher’s words would literally stopped making sense as they droned on and on. I could hear them but not understand them so I would stop trying and just start looking out of the window or doodle in my book. I would also start feeling very restless after sitting in one place for more than half an hour. I needed to move my body because it felt very stiff and the feeling was unbearable. The fact that I couldn’t move my body made me distressed and unable to focus on what the teacher was saying. My whole focus was on trying not to move so I couldn’t focus on anything else. I wish there were more breaks in school. It was honestly a torture to sit in class everyday. Just thinking about it makes me want to cry. I don’t know how I did it. Through sheer will power I guess because I didn’t have a choice.
